Saturday, October 22, 2011

Going back to school at 35

I finnally dicided that I would bight the bullet and go back to school.  I have felt that I have so much to offer the work force, but no degree to obtain the jobs that truely paid me for my worth.

I couldnt simply make them pay me more (that would have been nice) I decided that I needed to make changes for myself.  So here I am 35 and going back to school online at Devry University my degree is Electronics Engineering technology with a focus in renewable energy. 

When I saw this degree offered, it simply made since.  The future of this field seems endless.  With electronics in every aspect of our lives today, and renewable energy in the forfront of all of our minds.  It could only be the best dicision I could make.

I am now 5 classes in, and doing awesome, I am on the Deans List, and loving every minute of it. 

Friday, July 29, 2011

How do we Cope part 2

Take a breath!!!!

As you may have noticed it has been well over 6/7 almost 8 months since my last post.  This is for good reason. 

I have been breathing...... My struggle with my family/ people who were there for the first part of my life is just that breathing.  One of the steps that I have had, and continue to take, is to move forward.

The last months/ years/ centuries has been moments/ years/ centuries that have shown me that i have come to terms with this through my fits of rage and moments of anger.  All to no avail, my fits of rage were preformed in front of an audiance who bought tickets and then never showed up.  My songs of fury fell on deaf ears. 

Its hard to grasp your reality without a foundry to base yourself upon.  And what I know, is that I am so very tired of thinking, I could never be Picasso because I like to paint, nor could I be Frank Sinatra because I like to sing.  The very simple fact of the matter is i like to paint, and I like to sing.....  and this is valid. 

My struggle has not ended, nor will it ever..... but this is life, and it is a GREAT LIFE TO LIVE!!!!! 

Sunday, January 9, 2011

How is it that we cope. With all that we have to cope with! Part 1

Often times, I think about how it would be to exist in a sureal reality of existance.  In a perfect world where all things were nothing less than perfect.  All things that I am as a woman, as a lesbian, are more than perfect.  My family, in this sureal existance, is perfect. My partner, is perfect. All things that I need to expericence in life, is perfect.

Perfection is but a dream. A place where I can escape,  because in fact things are not perfect as I might like them to be.  In walks realty, in walks the imperfections of things that simply are. 

My Family:  I always thought that as a child I could always rely on them. I don't think that I thought of them as family necessarily, I simply knew them to be the people to rely on.  There was no second guessing, maybe a little testing sometimes, but somehow I always knew I could rely on them.

Although I know I must have been a handful gowing up, adopted, opinionated, and oh so full of fire.  I always felt this burn in the back of my mind. I knew somehow they would never accept me, the way they accepted their own children.  This burn could be equivilated to being adopted, or being gay, or just simply the dynamics of this family.  Who really knows what this was but my sister and I used to hover in corners together, wondering the very same things.  Not out of fear but out of knowing. 

Knowing as a child is so very simple, you know things that now seem somehow muddled by life and by perceptions, and just things.

But the perceptions that my sister and I knew back then as children, are utterly profound to me as an adult.  I somehow knew as a child that I should question what it was that my paents represented to me.  I don't know if it was a misrepresentation of parenting, or of being adopted.  We found that in our childhood perception, of coveting each other and knowing that they were something else, may be it was the perception of our age, or our gender, but more likely we were just perception our placement.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

The homophobic family lineup :) Call a spade a spade :)

I grapple with talking about this, as I dont want to out anyone as anything they wish not to be seen as.  But here it is, when you make yourself something you wish not to be seen as, then you may be subjected too being outed :)  yes there is a pun in there

       

My Homophic family, who sees gay and lesbians as petaphiles, who hasn't talked to their lesbian daughter in 2 decades.....  Your closet has been opened. 
Homophbia is NOT ok.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Why oh Why are Americans So Damn Stupid...... We are Just a bunch of followers

In recent Months/ Years I have come to beleive that America (the bulk not all) are all a bunch of followers we are being led by the media, and who ever else leads us to the left and to the right.  Which ever way they choose for us to be led, it will be done.

When are we going to start thinking for ourselves.  Is this not a goverment for the people and by the people. 

I have been thinking this on several different levels, for many different reasons.  As of recent the specific thing that is getting my goat is that we are screaming and hollering about Obama not turning this economy around.  I say to you "How the hell is this economy supposed to be turned around in a matter of two years".  So as Americans we say to ourselves lets change the power structure of our nation, to a Republican majority.....  That will fix it!!!!

Give me a break, are we so absent minded of thought that we cant remember it was a Republican president who got us into this mess in the first place. 

I say it is time to start thinking for ourselves turn off the fucking news and start making up your own damn mind.  Stop listeening to these lying politicans who dont have your interest in mind, and take a hold of your own damn future. 

Im Just saying.........

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Silence is golden...... don't makes waves unless you are willing to ride the rapids......FOOD For Thought Food 4 Thought

The things that are said that are so very true.  Silence is golden,  penny saved is a penny earned,  six in one half dozen the other..........  don't look a gift horse in the mouth.......  a step in time saves nine......  penny wise pound savy.......   bet you dollars to donuts (just said that today).... don't bite the hand that feeds you......  don't shit where you eat...... you make the bed you lie in.....  shit or get off the pot...... 

These words of wisdoms are so true...... you can place them in any given situation, and you can very assuradly find a truth in one, if not all, of these key phrases that give sanity in your walk about life..... 

With this self assuradness of the sanity in your walk about life, is there not a moment that you might question these things that have been said, these things that you have found self evendent? 

Are there not moments in which these things might be true, and you might also look beyond these truths of things you have learned and things that you find to be true in order to find the truth?

Are we so absent of mind to think that we can be deminished to a catch phrase in time?  Captured catch phrases, were all thought rings true is a stereotype of the ages.  Catch phrases that I hear myself say every day in my very head...... Phrases that have been instilled in me, for reasons not even my echoers could even understand. 

THIS IS JUST FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Lesbian Consumer Review Motorola Cliq xt with TMobile Service. 5 Stars or 3 Stars

I love having this new phone, it really has unlimited usage.

We were out in the woods with some friends of ours playing on a ropes course, and one of our friends wanted to time herself on the course.  So I whip out my phone and download a stopwatch ap and presto, we were able to time each other on the course.  My partner had her phone and she videoed while I was timing our friend.  Really these phones are freaking amazing.



Downside.  If you don't have the unlimited web feature, the phone really acts silly.  At times it will shut off, it will pretend it doesn't understand what you want it to do.  But once you get the web2go feature all of those annoying problems disappear.

5 stars if you have the web2go
3 stars if you don't have the web2go

Cheers!!!!!!!